Harris Scavenger hunt
by Serhelena
Summary: Post Undercover. Lowell Harris is released from jail and ready for revenge. Trough a scavenger-hunt he targets women Olivia have tried to help during the years, before he reach his final victim - Olivia!
1. You're free to go

He was lying on the bed in his cell, starring up at the picture on the ceiling above him. His whole cell was white, no pictures, no personal items, nothing. Just the bed, a dresser, toilet in the corner and a small mirror on the wall.

And the picture above him, a picture of the one woman who had taken away his control. As he starred at her he remembered back to his time in the women's Sealview Correctional Facility. He remembered how much he enjoyed working there. There he had control, there he was God. No one questioned his authority and if they did, they sure as hell knew the punishment.

As he was remembering all this he tried as hard as he could to push away the images of the numerous times he had worked in men's correctional facilities. The truth was as painful as the woman he now hated so much had put it - they dumped him because he didn't have the balls to handle men. His heart started beating, he was bursting in rage and in desperate need to gain back control.

When he was younger he had been the bully's favourite victim, their punching bag. He'd always been picked on, and there was no support from home. He lived alone with his mother after his father disappeared when he was a baby, leaving her bitter and taking her anger out on him. She got embarrassed and angry every time he came home with his torn clothes and bruised face and body.

**"Stop acting like a baby, if you can't take care of yourself you are not going to get far in your lousy life,"**

that was his mothers respond every time he came home crying over what the guys had done to him, and the phrase was usually followed by laughter. He had always been such a little man.

All this was why he decided to be a prison guard. He wanted the chance to hang around with the type of guys that used to bully him. He wanted to be the authority amongst those guys, to get back at them, to be the one to push them around. But even there he could not escape it; the inmates could smell the fear behind his thick mask of security and power. They could see his insecurity no matter how much he tried to hide it. Unfortunately, mind games didn't work on those men, pure violence did, and that was not an option that went well together with his physical strength.

So he started working with women, and there he felt right at home. He felt the power and authority he always craved. The women feared him and followed his every say so. He could do whatever he wanted with them, and sometimes give them drugs in exchange, to keep them from telling.

**"Just like Disneyland",** he thought to himself and giggled.

On lonely nights he could pick the hottest one amongst them and she had to go with him, she didn't have a choice. Oh well, she had a choice, go with him, or take what was coming for her.

Thinking about this made him loose the images from his time in men's facilities and back to his time in sealview. It was perfect - he gave the women what they needed, and they gave him what he wanted.  
Until that bitch came and ruined everything. But today was the day; he could not wait to show her that his authority and power was the greatest and make her regret her actions. He could not wait to see her slowly loose control again. All these days, nights, hours he had spent just looking at her picture, planning his revenge, how to gain control over her again.

He could feel his blood rushing to his head, making him all warm inside, and very excited about what was to come. He let his fingers wander across his face, feeling the scar on his cheek as a constant reminder of how she had taken away his control, leaving him vulnerable, humiliating him in front of his fellow officers, disobeyed him. But he got her, he had her, and she knew that as well as him. She might have won the battle, but he was not going to let her win the war.

Then he heard the warden walk towards his cell.

He smiled, took one last look at the picture, reached out and gave it a huge wet kiss.  
**  
****"Lets see who's the bitch now Miss Olivia"****  
**  
The doors opened  
**  
****"Lowell Harris, you are free to go"**


	2. Finding Hilary

Olivia got out of her car and walked towards the cabin in the forest. Elliot was already standing there with a couple of officers and the paramedics. It was pouring down with rain, Olivia was cold and she was yawning. Once again they'd called her up in the middle of the night just as she had been able to fall asleep.

"What do we got?" she asked while killing what seems to have been the eight yawn in a minute.

"Some teenagers called it in. They saw the cabin and probably figured out they'd have a private moment when they found a woman was cuffed to the door inside. Se was barely breathing when they found her, but she's alive" Elliot said loudly so she could hear him trough the rain.

"Why they call us Elliot? It's my weekend off" she shouted back as she walked towards him.

She was so tired of being dragged out of bed in the middle of the night. She knew she probably shouldn't react like this, a woman had been attacked and after all it was her job. But now she could not help to think that they were not the only SVU detectives in this city and she really needed her days off.

She hadn't had a good night sleep in six months, not since she went undercover. She had been recovering in silence and in loneliness, if one could call that recovering. She had managed to put all the uncomfortable images away during the day in order to do her job and not freak out every time she talked to a rape victim or interrogating a rapist. She had handled it so far, but at night it all came back to her, leaving her sleepless.

"Why did they call us Elliot?"

The officer next to Elliot answered first; "We figured it best when we found this message next to the victim"

He handed her a piece of paper, Olivia read it and looked at Elliot

"What does it say Liv?"

She didn't reply, she just handed him the paper and rushed into the cabin.

Elliot read the note

**-Better hand this over to the lovely Detective Benson-**

He looked worried over at Olivia who'd by then had found her way to the victim. As she came close she immediately recognized the woman lying on the stretcher

"Oh my God, Hilary" she burst out.

It was Hilary Barclay. The woman who she once refused to believe when she came in to the squad claiming she'd been captured and kept in a dungeon by a man who forced her to marry him. The woman who'd ended up killing her attacker when they couldn't keep him in. Olivia remembered how she nearly lost control in that case, how much that case got to her.

"Hilary, honey" Olivia said softly as she gently touched her shoulder. Hilary opened her eyes and started screaming, Olivia desperately tried to calm her down

"Shhh, Hilary, Its Olivia, you are safe now" she said and covered her bruised and half naked body with a blanket. Hilary turned and looked at Olivia

"Oh Olivia, I am sorry, I'm just."

"Shhh, you rest. I'll go with you in the ambulance"

She walked out together with the paramedics  
"I'm going with her Elliot, I meet you back at the station" and before Elliot got to reply she jumped into the ambulance and closed the door.

In the ambulance Hilary had calmed down, but tears kept falling down her cheek and every once in a while she gasped for air.

"Can you tell me what happened?" Olivia asked calmly while gently holding Hilary's hand. Hilary took a deep breath and fumbled for the words.

"He, he cuffed me, he beat me. I tried to run, but he cuffed me, and he forced his, I tried to avoid it, but he grabbed my face and pushed my mouth towards it. I tried to scream, but he hit me, I thought he was going to break my neck. I wanted to run, but he cuffed me and I bit my lips and..." Hilary burst in to tears, realizing she was unable to describe her attack.

Olivia's heart was beating fast. This was just the type of case she had been hoping to avoid, at least for a while, not so soon after.

"Its okay Hilary, we can take the rest of the questions later" she said and realized it was not only because of Hilary's state of mind she wanted to continue later, but also for her own sake. She just wasn't ready to hear more.

"Oh God, it was so humiliating, you have no idea. It was awful" Hilary kept crying as Olivia tried to fight her own tears

"I do honey, yes I do. And I know how much you must have wanted to fight that"

That was the last words Hilary heard before she passed out.

A couple of hours later she woke up at the hospital. Olivia was sitting next to her, but Hilary didn't look at her, she just laid there and starred up in to the air.

After a while Olivia tried to get her to talk "I'm sorry Hilary, but I really need your statement. Are you up for that?"

Hilary nodded, but kept starring out in the air while she tried to find words to describe what had happened

"I was at a bar when I saw this really good looking guy. I'd never seen him there before, but the last week I've seen him there 4 or 5 times."

Hilary stopped talking, she just realized how she'd confessed to being at the bar at least 5 times this week. Before Olivia got to comment on that, she turned to look at her and continued;

"I just need some space, you know. I've had trouble sleeping ever since my capture. I hate being alone in the house, but I don't like company either. That's why the bar is perfect, I can be alone, but still surrounded by people. I just need to get my mind on other things, you know"

"Yeah, I know" Olivia said slowly.

"Well, tonight he was there again, and this time he noticed me. He smiled at me and then he came over to me and asked me how I was. His voice was so intense. I guess I needed company, so I let him sit down next to me."

Hilary paused and started rubbing her forehead, while shaking like a leaf. Olivia just held her hand, knowing there was nothing she could say or do to make things better just now.

"After a while he offered to walk me home" Hilary covered her mouth with her right hand

"Oh my God, he said, he said" She gasped for air and tried to repeat his words to her the way he'd said it

"He said; _there's al lot of psychos out there and a woman should not walk home alone at this hour_. I was relived you know, I always have such a hard time leaving the bar, cause I know I would have to walk home alone in the dark. So, we went out of the bar arm in arm. After walking for a while he said he needed to get something from his car, and that it was just parked a block away. He asked me if I wanted to go with him, but he added; _I will not get offended if you say no, you have no reason to trust me_."

Hilary once again started to cry and covered her face with her hands  
"God, I am such a fool. I thought I did, I trusted him. How could I have been so stupid? I should have seen this coming."

Olivia gently grabbed Hilary's face and starred in to her eyes

"No Hilary, don't go down that road. This is not your fault. He had control over the situation, even if you had said no to him, he would probably have found a way to take you to the cabin. There was nothing you could do. Ok honey?"

Hilary tried to breathe slowly and she took Olivia's hand.  
"Oh, ok, ok, Thank you," she said and smiled a brave smile, before it left her face.

"Then what happened?"

"We went to his car, but when we got there I noticed he'd taken me to an empty parking lot. There were no cars there so I asked him where his car was. That's when he changed, he just told me to shut up. He grabbed my hands and forced me towards him, and then he started kissing my neck. I tried to get away and asked him what he wanted from me. He just whispered; _you know what I want, and you are going to give it to me._ Then he dragged me to the cabin. I tried to scream, but no one could hear me. In the cabin he threw me on the floor, shut the door behind him and cuffed me to it. Then he, you know, he."

Hilary once again burst into tears

"Shh honey, I know. I know Hilary."

Liv felt herself shaking inside, she knew all to well the terror Hilary had been trough. All she wanted to do was to tell her she was not alone. But she couldn't do that, she just couldn't. She didn't want anyone to know. If she didn't say anything she could pretend it never happened, just like she did with her mothers abuse. She knew how to handle such things, though she was also well aware that it was not the right way to handle it...

Olivia held Hilary's hand, but had a constant urge to leave the room so she could have a moment alone to breathe.

"Hilary I have to go back and rapport this. But if you need me, you know where to find me," Olivia said before she got up to leave.

As she walked towards the door she felt her tears fighting to get out, but she knew she had to hold it together until she was out of the room.

"Olivia, wait!!"

Olivia stopped, took a deep breath and felt the urge to cry loose its intensity just enough for her to hold it together a little longer. She turned to face Hilary.

"Yes Hilary"

"There's just one more thing. He said to tell you, he said; let the lady detective know I enjoyed it. Why'd he ask me to say that?"

Olivia sighed, and felt a slight panic grab hold of her

"I don't know Hilary"

The she left the room. Out in the hall she was finally able to breathe again, though she was nearly hyperventilating.


	3. Tense atmosphere

**Authors note: Thanks for the nice reviews. Real inspiring, and makes me want to write more :o)**

Back at the station Elliot was sitting behind his desk starring at Olivia as she came in to the squad. Her eyes were red and she seemed very tense.

"You okay Liv?"

"He told her to tell the lady detective he enjoyed it" she said as she fell down on the chair by her desk

"Who is this guy Elliot? He did this to her to get to me?"

Olivia's heart was about to burst, Hilary had gone trough all that again just cause someone wanted to give her a message...

It wasn't the first time this had happened, she'd been there before in the case with Eric Plummer. He killed four people to get back at her for sending him to prison. She had ended up killing him to keep him from shooting a hostage, only to find out his gun wasn't loaded and that she'd killed an unarmed man. Olivia started shivering, her guilt from that case hadn't quite gone away and now she felt it again…

"El, I am not helping anyone. All I do is hurt people around me. So many life's lost and ruined because of me"

Elliot looked at her and sighed. He hated seeing his partner like this. She had a terrible habit of blaming her self and beating her self up everytime she failed to help victim, or everytime a perp was acquitted due to lack of evidence. She wanted to save the world and Elliot loved her for it, but it was no way of thinking if she wanted to continue this line of duty.

"No Liv, that's not true. You are not hurting the people around you, the perp is. All you do is try to help people Liv"

She didn't listen; she wasn't even looking at him.

"I can't do this anymore" she said as she got up and walked towards Cragen's office.

"Hey Liv, where you going?"

She didn't react; she had made up her mind. But just as she was about to enter Cragen's office and tell him she was done with this unit, he came rushing out the door.

"Benson, Stabler! I need you in here now!"

Elliot jumped out of his chair and walked quickly towards Olivia, they gave each other a quick glance before they entered his office.

Cragen was standing in front of his desk, looking at Olivia.  
"How's the case comming along?"

Olivia scratched her temple and sighed "Not too well captain, not too well. Captain I'm, I was just about to, I mean I was gonna ask you, If" Olivia was stuttering, Elliot jumped in to save the conversation.

"What's up captain? You got something?"

Captain gave Olivia a last glance and then turned his eyes to Elliot. Olivia just starred at Elliot and could not believe he'd just interrupted her. Cragen continued

"I was talking to some of the guys working at the front desk today, and one of them asked me how Internal Affairs investigation against one of my detectives was coming along."

Elliot and Olivia looked like a couple of question marks.

"Yes, that was what I was thinking, so I asked him what he meant by that. He told me that two weeks ago an officer claiming he was from internal affairs came up to the front desk asking for one of our officers files"

"And why is this significant Captain?" Elliot dared himself to ask.

"Because he specifically asked for your files Olivia"

Olivia looked confused, her big brown eyes starred back at Cragen

"He did what? Captain, come on, they can't just burst in here and demand to see my personal files. Besides, I didn't even know I was under investigation"

"You're not Olivia, that's probably the bad news. The people at IA don't know anything about this"

Olivia was still puzzled, she shook her head "Well, they didn't give it to him did they?"

Cragen just nodded, and Olivia froze. It must have been their perp, that's how he knew she'd been working Hilary's case.

"What? Who was it?" she asked, knowing Cragen probably couldn't provide the answer.

"We don't know. But he signed the log Jon Smith."

"No Id?" Elliot asked as he gave Olivia a worried glance.

"He didn't need an Id, he had a police badge"

Olivia was furious! "What the hell kind of system is this?? Allowing someone to walk in, grab confidential files and then walk right out without leaving a trace??"

Cragen didn't know what to respond; he just looked at Olivia and tried to figure out how to explain this fatal error in the system

"Liv, he had a badge and said he was from IA. The people at the front desk have the strongest respect for them. And you know how you don't want to argue with IA, I guess they didn't want to ask any questions."

Olivia closed her eyes and rubbed her hand across her forehead.

"I can't believe this" she whispered, but then looked up at Cragen and repeated the words, shouting this time

"I can't fucking believe this captain!!"

Elliot grabbed her shoulder, well aware she could easily smack his hand away from her "Liv Relax. We'll find out who he is. We'll get him, you'll see"

And just as he thought, Liv quickly turned around and pushed his hand away from her.

"Shut up El. How do you know that? You don't know that. Stop talking to me like I'm an idiot"

Elliot silenced, it was nothing he could say to her when she was in this mood.

Olivia rushed back to her desk; Elliot walked right behind her, looking like a humiliated dog. He sat down by his desk and starred at her.

"WHAT??" she snapped at him

He turned his eyes away from her and back to the papers on hid desk.

"Olivia Benson?"

Olivia quickly turned to the voice behind her "WHAT??"

The delivery guy jumped to the side, rattled by the angry tone of her voice.

"Uhm, I'm sorry, but I have a special delivery to a detective Olivia Benson" he said and handed her a bunch of roses.

"Flowers? From who?"

"I don't know mam, I just deliver them" he replied and got out of the squad as fast as he could.

Olivia held the flowers towards Elliot "El, look at this!"

"There's a card Liv" he said and grabbed the card, read it and then looked up at Liv.

"What does it say?" she asked and reached her hand out, waiting for Elliot to give her the card.

"Olivia, are you sure you wanna work this case?"

"Just tell me what the card says" she once again reached her hand out, this time trying to grab the card away from him. Elliot drew his hand back.

"No Liv, you should go home"

"Elliot!! Give me the damn card!!" she shouted and grabbed the card from him.

-**Ahh Olivia. **

**Flowers to my girl, **

**this time you decided to believe her.**

**Next one on my list**

** she also killed her rapist. **

**She didn't get the help she needed from you, **

**think she's gonna go all crazy stalker on me too? –**

Olivia's chin started trembling

"Damn him Elliot! Who is this guy?" she said silently while reading the note over and over again

"Well, we know one thing for sure. We're not looking for a poet" Elliot said with a vague smile

Olivia gave him an angry look, before her eyes found their way back to the letter. She felt herself starting to sweat while she desperately tried to figure out who this guy could be and who his next victim was. But she couldn't keep her mind clear and she felt herself loose control of her emotions

"WHO IS THIS? WERE THE HELL IS THAT DELIVERY GUY, I NEED TO QUESTION HIM! ELLIOT, DON'T JUST SIT THERE, DO SOMETHING!!" she shouted.

"Liv, don't lose it" Elliot whispered to her as Cragen came over to her.

"Benson. You need to hold it together, or I am taking you off this case"

"No worries captain, I am done here" she said and went to her closet and started packing her things.

Elliot and Cragen looked at each other as Elliot went over to Liv and gently touched her shoulder "Liv, you don't have to do this..."

"Get the hell away from me" she oozed and pushed his hand away yet again.

Elliot had had enough and he raised the tone of his voice "Why do you always do this? You can't just up and quit every time you feel threatened"

Liv quickly turned to Elliot

"You think THAT is what this is about? Then you are more ignorant than I give you credit for"

Cragen rolled his eyes, and realized he had to separate them. They were like teenagers when they started arguing. _"Just like the kids I never had"_ he thought to himself and sighed.

"Olivia!"

Olivia turned to look at him

"Olivia, I have said it before, but I see I need to repeat it. You can't throw away the good you've done and the good you'll do over one mistake."

"MISTAKE! Mistake Captain? You are just as bad as him" she burst out and looked over at Elliot.

Elliot looked up from his desk with eyes full of wondering.

"What'd I do?" he asked loudly

"Shhh Elliot, not now" Cragen snapped back at him, then turning to Olivia again.

"Captain. It is not just one mistake anymore. People are dying because of me. Women are being victimized because of me. I can't stay here if that means that the perps I get, go out again and hurt people because I did my job" she said and turned to Elliot

"You see Elliot. THAT'S why I can't handle this anymore. Because THEIR life is threatened. Do you really think I would run because of my own safety? Wow, don't you think I would have left years ago if that was the case? Do you really find me that selfish? Jesus El, I thought we were best friends"

Elliot looked at her and sighed "I'm sorry Olivia. I just know that I would have been spooked by this guy if I were you"

She gave him a sarcastic smile, and raised one of her eyebrows

"If you were me? You mean, if you were a woman? You've always been such a sexist"

Cragen once again had to stop them

"Guys, if you don't cut it I am taking you both of this case. We are not near finding out who this guy is and he has another victim. He mentioned stalking? Who ended up stalking her attacker?"

Olivia gave Elliot an angry look, smashed her closet door shut and sat down by her desk in rage. Then she noticed a couple of sneakers under her desk

"What's this? Who put these here? They yours?" she asked Elliot

"No, not mine" Elliot answered, still a little rattled from Olivia's anger towards him.

"Cragen, do you know anything about this? You know who put it here?"

"No, I don't know Liv"

Olivia studied the sneakers to she if she could recognize them. Then she noticed a note inside one of the shoes

**-Do you think she still sleeps with these at night?-**

She immediately remembered Harper Anderson, the woman who'd been so affected by her rape she started sleeping with her running shoes on.

"Oh my God, it's Harper Anderson. Remember, she was stalking her attacker because we couldn't gather enough evidence to keep him locked up," she said and started looking around at the people in the squad room

"Who put these here?" she asked

No one answered; everyone just gave her a quick glance before they went back to their business.

"Who the hell put these under my desk? Answer me damn it!! Someone must have seen something!!" she shouted. Cragen gently touched her shoulder

"Liv, take it easy. No one knows. You and Elliot go out and find Harper. I will go trough the surveillance tapes"

Liv and El rushed out of the office

"Two victims Elliot. Both my cases, and both ended up killing their attacker cause the legal system failed them, cause we could not help them" Olivia said as they walked towards the car. That was the last thing they said to each other. The atmosphere around them was still affected by their previous argument, and both their minds were caught up in trying to figure out who this guy was.


	4. Finding Harper

When they got to Harpers apartment they realized they were too late as they saw a police car outside her building and neighbours looking at the action that surrounded the apartment building. Elliot got there first

"Detective Stabler, SVU. This is my partner detective Benson" he said and flashed his badge to one of the officers.

The officer quickly turned to Olivia "Detective Benson, we been trying to get a hold of you. We found this note next to the victim" he said and handed her the note, Olivia just waved it away "Don't bother, I know what it says. Where is she?"

"Upstairs" he replied and before he got to say anything else Olivia ran upstairs to get to Harpers apartment.

Inside the apartment Harper was sitting on the couch starring out in the air, not showing any emotions.

"Hi Harper" Olivia said as she sat down next to her "What happened?"

Harper continued starring trough the air. Olivia looked at her and felt her eyes tear up. Hadn't this woman been trough enough? She could not help to think that because of her, this poor woman was once again assaulted.

Harper opened her mouth as she was about to say something, but she quickly closed it. Olivia noticed the gesture.

"What Harper?"

"He told me to tell you he enjoyed it" she said and slowly turned to face Olivia

Olivia didn't answer; she just grabbed a blanket and covered Harper with it "Let's take you to the hospital honey" she said and followed Harper out to the car.

Elliot was still outside, standing by the car waiting for them. Olivia and Harper went over to the ambulance. Olivia gave Elliot a quick glance as they passed him but ignored his question marked face as she jumped in to the ambulance together with Harper.

After they'd done the rape kit, Harper agreed on going back to the station with Olivia to finish the questioning.

* * *

Harper was sitting in the interrogation room, sipping on a cup of tea and looking at Olivia who was right there across from her.

"What happened Harper?"

Harper took a deep breath and another sip of her tea

"Uhm...I was going down to the basement to do some laundry. Tuesdays are laundry night. Ever since the rape I have been obsessed with routines. Everyday has to be filled with something different"

She took another zip of the tea and sighed

"At least I don't sleep with my running shoes on anymore" she said and gave Olivia a vague smile, Liv smiled back.

"Then what happened?"

"Then this guy came in. I'd seen him around my apartment building quite a few times this last week. I'd never seen him there before though so I figured he just moved in. This gorgeous guy, very tall and he's got the most intense eyes. I've never talked to him before, well you know, we've said hi to each other, and he always smiles at me whenever I pass him. To night he came down to the laundry room. He smiled as he came in; he had his laundry with him. We chatted a bit, he told me he'd just moved in and that he worked as teacher. Well, after a while he went in to the other room where the tumble dryers are. That room is behind the one we were in, and it's a darker room with no windows. I hardly ever go in there, too creepy you know, I dry my clothes on hangers in my apartment. Well, he went into the room, then he came back out and asked me if I could show him how the tumble dryer worked. I hesitated, and he saw that and said_; it's okay if you don't want to, I understand, me being a stranger and all. I'll figure it out myself,_ and then he smiled at me."

Harper looked up at Olivia and shook her head

"I was embarrassed. Here was this gorgeous man asking me for help, and I hesitated to help him because of some kind of paranoia due to my rape. I decided I wasn't gonna let my rapist and what happened to me control me anymore! I can't go around being scared all the time, and definitely not if I want some romance back in to my life"

for the first time since they found her she showed emotions, she started to cry and starred down at her cup of tea. She closed her eyes and her and hit her temples a couple of times with her palms.

"I can't believe I was that stupid. After all that has happened to me, you would think I could take precautions. But no, I didn't, I was stupid and naive and I followed him in to the room."

Olivia shook her head and sighed "No honey, you don't need me to tell you that this was not your fault. You know that Harper. This was not your fault"

Harper looked at her, wiped away her tears and continued

"Anyway, as soon as I went into the room he hit me hard in the back with something. I fell on the floor and he shut the door and locked it. He lifted me up by my hair and pulled me closer to him and whispered_; I've been watching you. _I was screaming and fighting, but he was just laughing, he was laughing Olivia!"

Harper stopped to take a breath, Olivia was writing it all down and tried not to think about how much this reminded her of her own attack.

"Then what happened" she said and noticed that her own voice was shaky.

"He dragged me across the room by my hair and cuffed me to the radiator. I couldn't move, I was too scared to scream, so I gave up. He got in front of me, unzipped his pants and said..._"_

She killed a vague whimper and then looked up at Olivia

"What honey, what did he say?"

Harper took a deep breath and tried to repeat the words, the way he had said it to her

_"If you bite me, you're dead" _

Olivia froze; she felt her blood rushing away from her face leaving her white and a nod formed in her stomach. Her heart started beating and she was unable to move or speak.

Harper starred down at her cup of tea and did not notice Liv's reaction.

"Uhhm...When he was...Uhm...finished he put his pants back on and said_; Let the lady detective know I enjoyed it! _Then he left."

Harper sat there calmly, still not showing any emotions, just starred down at her cup.

Olivia hadn't been writing down the last part, she had to use all her energy and concentration to not have a break down right there and then.

"Uhm, Harper. Can you excuse me for a moment?" she said and without waiting for Harper to reply she got up and left the room.

Outside Elliot and Cragen had been watching the questioning from the window. Elliot looked over at Olivia who was leaning against the door, resting her hands on her knees and starring down at the floor.

"You alright Liv?" he asked, Liv didn't look at him; she just left the room without saying a word. Elliot wanted to go after her but Cragen stopped him

"Let her go Elliot, you continue the questioning."

Elliot starred out after Olivia, then turning to Cragen again and went in to Harper.

* * *

Cragen went up to the crib where he figured Olivia was when he didn't find her at her desk.

She was sitting on one of the beds with her arms covered over the other close to her stomach, as if she tried to protect herself.

"That's what he said to me" she whispered when Cragen came in to the room. Cragen could barely hear her.

"What did he say to you Olivia?"

Olivia paused, trying to control her shaking

"If you bite me, you're dead" she said and the last words came out as whimpers.

"Captain Harris said that to you?"

Olivia straightened up and put her hands on both thighs.

"Captain, don't tell me you told me so"

"I wasn't about to Olivia"

Olivia looked up at Cragen "I needed to go undercover for this. I had to catch the bastard. No one else were prepared to help those women"

"I know Liv" Cragens voice were calm, and he kept starring at her without saying anything else. Olivia had to break that uncomfortable silence

"I can handle it captain"

Cragen was silent for a moment, knowing he should not question her when she was in this mood, but he had no choice

"Can you? Judging from your reaction it seems to me like you can't"

Olivia's eyes turned black and she bit her teeth's together

"I was just surprised, that's all" she snapped back at him

She did not want to show Cragen how much this affected her. Especially since she didn't exactly know what she was risking by doing so. Maybe he would never trust her to go undercover again, or worse, that he would recommend that she'd be transferred out of the unit.

The thought of that freaked her out even more. She needed to work there; she needed to work those cases, to catch those perps. She needed that now more than ever. But maybe that was the problem, if she told him he would say she wasn't objective anymore

Olivia sighed by that thought_ "objective"_ she thought to her self _"Since when was I objective. I am a child of rape for crying out loud."_ But when she thought about it, she hadn't really showed Cragen just how much that had affected her either.

Oh he just could not know!

She wanted to scream, she wanted to kick and scream, she wanted to cry uncontrollably – but she held it all in.

Cragen studied her as she was sitting there thinking, then he was the one to break the silence.

"Ok Liv, if you say so. But then get back there and finish the questioning together with Elliot"

Olivia sighed, knowing she could not refuse, or tell him that she needed a moment alone. Not if she wanted to convince him that this wasn't getting to her. Cragen on the other hand didn't need convincing; he already knew how much this had changed Olivia.

Liv went down and in to the interrogation room just as Elliot had wrapped it up.

"We are done here Liv" he said and got up from his chair. Liv went over to Harper

"Come Harper, Ill take you home"

Olivia didn't say anything on their way back to her home, neither did Harper, she was just starring out the window while tears kept streaming down her face. As they pulled up to her apartment building she turned to Olivia

"Why did this happen to me again Liv?"

It was more a statement than it was a question

Olivia looked away _"because of me, because I had to go undercover and get my self raped. Because I could not do my job so he'd stay in jail. That's why" _she thought to herself.

Then she turned to Harper

"I don't know Harper, I'm so sorry"

As Harper left Olivia finally found herself alone and she burst into tears. She felt the fear of Harris being out pierce trough her body and taking over her thoughts completely.

She started the car and drove straight to Casey's office.


	5. Telling Elliot

Back at the office Elliot was reading trough Harpers statement when Cragen handed him a letter.

"Elliot, this just arrived. It's for you"

Elliot took the envelope and ripped it open and read the letter

**-I am really enjoying this case,**

**watching Olivia's meaningless chase!**

**How does it make her feel**

**seeing her nightmare become real?**

**She failed to help these women once again,**

**how do you think it's gonna end?**

**Will she force them to kill me later?**

**Guess I better stay safe,**

**cause you're not getting me either-**

Elliot rubbed his face, and sighed "Who delivered this captain?"

"I don't know Elliot; it came in the mail"

Elliot was extremely frustrated and so tired of this guy playing with their mind, always being two steps ahead of them...

"How can someone get all these messages across, get flowers delivered, get a couple of sneakers placed underneath Olivia's desk without leaving a single trace? Yeah, what about the running shoes? Did you find anything on the surveillance tapes?"

Cragen nodded "Yes we did. It was the cleaning guy who'd put it there"

"The cleaning guy? Is that our perp?" Elliot asked, rather puzzled.

"No, an officer came up to him just as he started on his morning shift. He handed him the sneakers, and told him they belonged to detective Benson. He said she'd forgotten them at his place the night before. Then he asked if he could do him the favor to give them back to her. When I confronted the cleaning guy with this he said the reason he hadn't said anything was he figured from the officer's attitude that he and Olivia were having an affair and that he didn't wanna be seen there delivering the sneakers himself. So he asked no further questions"

"That's crazy captain. Could he ID the officer?"

"Unfortunately he didn't get his name. But I showed him a bunch of pictures and he picked out the suspect"

Elliot looked up at Cragen in rage "Suspect!! Since when did we have a suspect?" he burst out

"Elliot, both women have been victimized before. Both women ended up killing their attacker out of desperation because we couldn't gather enough evidence to keep them locked up. Olivia feels guilty over this, and he is using her guilt to mess with her head"

"Who is Captain? I can't believe you have a suspect without telling me immediately! Who is it?"

Cragen paused, before he continued

"It's Lowell Harris"

Elliot was even more confused "Lowell Harris? The prison guard from Sealview? How come you suspected him in the first place?"

Cragen paused again as he realized he had to tell Elliot about what had happened to Olivia in order to back up his suspicion.

"Because of the way these women have been attacked"

"Why is that significant?"

Cragen felt as if he was betraying Olivia. He knew she didn't want anyone to know about this, but he could not keep Elliot in the dark. If this was what it took to solve the case, he could not worry about Olivia's stubbornness when it came to opening up to Elliot.

"They were attacked the same way as Captain Harris attacked Olivia when she was undercover."

Elliot felt as if someone just threw rock into his stomach "Olivia, no, what happened?"

"He tried to rape her Elliot. Apparently it was a pretty violent attack"

Elliot struggled to hold his tears in, tears of pure anger. If he ever have had a hard time controlling his anger, those impulses were weak compared to the anger that now raised in him. He used all his willpower to act as controlled as he could

"She never, I mean, I never…Well, you know...DAMN IT CAPTAIN, she never mentioned anything to me. I mean, I asked her what happened in the basement, she said nothing happened. I didn't believe her at the time, but she's seemed fine ever since so I asked no further questions. How is she?"

"It is not up to me to tell you whether she is fine or not. You have to ask her. Point is, this case had too many similarities to the Harris case, and they all point to him. Now we have a positive Id. We need to get a hold of him."

Elliot tried to gather his thoughts

"Harris is a correctional officer; he probably still has his uniform and badge. During our investigation at Sealview someone showed a fake badge at the hospital and stole Ashley's rape kit. A man we later believed to be Lowell Harris. He probably did the same with Olivia's files. But we got him; I thought he was in jail. Is he out?"

Cragen sighed "Apparently"

"Why the hell wasn't we notified??" Elliot shouted.

Cragen just shook his head.

Elliot grabbed his phone and tried to call Olivia

No answer….


	6. Casey's office

**Authors note: Thanks again for your reviews :O) It's highly appreciated. I had a little trouble with this chapter, there were so many things I wanted to be said in Casey's office, but I am not very familiar with the law, especially not American law - since I am from Norway. So I talked to a friend of mine who is a cop and asked her about the rules in the Norwegian legal system, what would hold up in court etc. So if there is several wrong facts in this chapter you know why, this story reflects the Norwegian system :o) It's a long chapter, but it has its moments :-) Enjoy!**

* * *

"What's wrong?"

Casey looked up from her desk and over at Olivia who was bursting in to her office in rage

"They let him go?"

"Let who go?"

"Harris, Lowell Harris. Is he out?"

Olivia was screaming, Casey just continued starring at her, still puzzled from this outburst.

"Damnit Casey? Did you let Officer Harris out??"

Casey paused

"Olivia, we couldn't hold him. The evidence against him was too weak"

"What do you mean? Ashley identified him, she saw his mole, she knew he had a mole. How is that not enough? Didn't that prove anything?

"No, it didn't! Let' see.." Casey grabbed a file from her drawer and read out loud  
"The allegations towards him was that he...  
-killed Risa.  
-forced Risa to have her brother Ricky provide him with drugs  
-had sex with inmates in exchange for drugs  
-raped Ashley  
-stole Ashley's rape kit from the hospital  
-attempted to kill a police officer"

Casey looked up at Olivia and shook her head as she continued

"How the hell can a mole prove all this? Come on Olivia, the mole only proves that he had sex with Ashley. And you know what, without the rape kit it doesn't even prove that. All it proves is that someone saw his penis and told Ashley about the mole. Harris admitted to having sex with Risa, Risa could have told Ashley about the mole to frame Harris for rape."

Olivia tried to say something, but Casey ignored it and continued

"And as for the attempted murder on a police officer, I don't need to comment on that Olivia, you know better than that. He didn't know you were a cop, you didn't tell him – so we can't charge him for that. We can only charge him for attacking an inmate. But he claims that you attacked him when he tried to stop you from running, and the big cut on his cheek does speak for it self. What you did to him gave him a good enough reason to attack you. Co's have every right to strike an inmate to force complaint"

Olivia shook her head and gave Casey a cold look, her voice was low as if she was nauseas

"He didn't have sex with Risa Casey, he raped her. Just like he raped the other inmates, and gave them drugs as payment to keep them from telling"

Casey sighed

"Olivia, you don't know that, you've only heard that from Ricky. Inmates have every reason to frame their CO's. And ever since Harris was put in there have been allot of allegations towards CO's all over. We had to reopen Harris case and try him again to set an example. To show them that it is not that easy, that they can't frame their Co's just because they don't agree with the way they work."

Olivia laughed a sarcastic laugh while shaking her head

"Oh, ok, so raping the inmates is just a part of Co's work load and we should accept that?"

"Olivia there is no evidence that he raped anyone!"

"Casey! He forced Risa to provide him with drugs, then he RAPED her daughter when Risa had Ricky stop supplying him, and when we tried to figure out who he was he KILLED Risa and made it look like a suicide. Are you telling me those allegations aren't serious enough for you to bother to give a damn?? Why is that? Cause the victims were an inmate and an inmate's daughter!?" As she was talking she kept getting louder and louder, and the last sentence came out screaming.

"OLIVIA!! Calm down. There is no evidence to back that up. Only words from Ashley, Risa and her brother, who happens to have a record.

Olivia took a deep breath and tried to reason with her the best she could

"Ok ok ok, Casey, Melinda said Risa's death was not a suicide. Isn't that something we can use to nail this guy?"

"Sealview closed that case, they don't have the manpower, money or time to investigate. So they haven't seen Melinda's rapport, as far as they are concerned Risa killed herself. Even if they did reopen the case, there is no evidence against Harris."

Olivia looked at Casey, closed her eyes and turned her head to the floor as she decided to tell Casey what happened to her to make her see what kind of guy Harris was.

"Casey. I know it is him. I know he is violent. He attacked me"

"Yes, I know. He hit you, AFTER you hit him pretty hard. "

Olivia sighed "Casey, you are not listening. I know he is violent because I saw the mole too!"

Casey starred at Olivia as she felt chills running up her back

"What? When?"

"When I went undercover, when he had me in the basement. That's why I hit him, because he tried to rape me. He took me down to the basement and forced himself on me. He cuffed me to a door, he opened his pants, that's when I saw it. And that's why I knew Ashley could ID him"

Casey sighed, still puzzled from Olivia's statement

"Liv, I know you want to catch this guy, but why tell this story now? Why didn't you come forward with this during his trial?"

Olivia's chin started to tremble; she starred at Casey and hesitated to answer

"Umh... I Just, I just couldn't"

Casey shook her head

"Olivia. I want to get this guy too if he has done what you say he's done to Ashley and Risa. But exaggerating the events is not going to help us get him"

Olivia looked at Casey in shock "CASEY!!" She could not believe her accusations. "I am not lying Casey!!"

"LIV! He thought you were an inmate, and you assaulted him when he tried to take you to the hole after you started a freaking riot in prison. That doesn't look good!!"

"THAT DOES NOT GIVE HIM THE RIGHT TO ATTACK ME!!"

Olivia was in rage. What if she really had been an inmate? No one would have believed her if she'd told them about what Harris did to her. They would only see her as a troublemaker; she wouldn't have gotten any help. Olivia was actually furious on behalf of Katharina Ray Lewis - her undercover character. And she was in pain over the numerous victims there had to be in prisons all over, she felt for the hundreds of women she would never be able to save.

"Liv calm down. Why didn't you tell him you were a cop? Why did you hide that fact from him?"

"Does that make a difference? So he has the right to attack me if I was an inmate, but as a cop I have rights? Anyway, if I told him he would have killed me, that's why!"

"You didn't know that Liv. If he'd killed you, we wouldn't have given up before he was locked up for life. He wouldn't have risked that"

Olivia had trouble remaining calm; she threw her arms out and placed them on Casey's desk and leaned towards to her. Then she lowered her voice and spoke as calmly as she could while starring right into Casey's eyes

"He would have killed me. He would have argued that I attacked him and tried to escape; he would have justified my murder and said he didn't know I was a cop. He would not have risked his job over me. If I'd told him I was a cop he would have realized he was gonna get busted. He would not have let me go. Trust me Casey, the guy was crazy"

Case got up from her chair, placed her hands on her desk and leaned towards Olivia

"What you did was entrapment. You deceived him Olivia"

Olivia backed off and shouted

"I was undercover Casey!! That is kind of the point!!"

"Yes, but as soon as he does something incriminating towards you, you have to identify yourself!!"

Olivia crossed her arms and shook her head "Even if I would have risked him killing me?"

Casey didn't reply, she only sighed, because that was indeed the fact. She didn't agree with it, but it was the law.

"Casey, why are you questioning me and my judgment? Why not him?"

"I believe you Olivia. I believe that he attacked you. But he thought you were an inmate, and besides, you beat him up pretty bad. He had a huge cut on his face and you only had a little bruise"

Liv once again threw her hands in the air and raised her voice

"That's cause he tried to rape me, he pinned me to the wall and freaking dry humped me like a dog. But then he was dumb enough to take of my cuffs, and when he did I hit him hard to get away from him"

Casey shook her head and turned her eyes to some papers on her desk

"Well, you didn't say rape before, and even if that happened that's not gonna hold up in court now"

Olivia was close to freaking out by the thought of Harris being out for good, and that there was nothing she could do to stop it.

"I saw his mole Casey! How would I have known about that if it didn't happen? Do you think I saw it cause I wanted to?"

"Olivia! Ashley mentioned his mole too. Either she saw it or Risa told her about it after she had sex with Harris"

Olivia interrupted her

"They didn't have sex, he raped her"

Casey continued

"Either way, you knew he had a mole cause Ashley said he did. You did not mention the mole or the attempted rape before that. So it proves nothing"

Olivia was furious, she had to struggle not to jump over that desk and hit Casey. She'd never wanted to hit anyone as much as she wanted to hit Casey right now.

"Why the hell do you think I asked Ashley if she remembered anything weird about his penis? Why would I ask that question if I didn't know she would be able to identify him?"

"Well, that's a standard question when it comes to identify an attacker Olivia; you could have asked that without knowing about it"

Olivia sighed and shook her head "Why won't you believe me Casey?" she asked silently, her voice was shaking and her lips were trembling

"Because you failed your undercover operation! You feel guilty for causing Risa's death, you feel guilty cause you were not able to help Ashley. And you are mad cause the man that beat you walks. That's why you cry rape now, you are creating this story as a last attempt to get him."

"I can't believe this" Olivia whispered and rubbed her temples

Casey looked at Olivia's face and noticed the rage in her eyes. So she decided to end the argument. She sighed and softened her voice

"Look, Olivia. I believe you, I know you wouldn't lie about something like that. But I am just being realistic. What I have said now is nothing compared to what they'll do to you in court if you bring this up in order to lock him up! This has become a personal agenda for you Liv. You will not be reopening this case as a detective, but as a victim"

"I am not a victim Casey!" she said quickly, with a calm, but cold voice.

Casey looked at her, she didn't reply to that statement.

The atmosphere was too uncomfortable for Olivia. It was easier when they were arguing. Now, when she felt Casey's pity, it got too much for her

"Seriously Casey, I didn't come her to...I mean…I came because...All I wanted was to know if he is out, and he is…so…"

Olivia was rambling, she knew it, and Casey noticed it, so she turned around and headed for the door. Then turned back around and faced Casey once again, desperately trying to walk out of that office looking like a strong cop

"Just so you know, I need to get him for what he did to Risa, I need to get him for what he did to Ashley and I need to get him for what he's done to all the other women at Sealview"

Casey starred at Olivia, then got up from her chair and walked towards her, Olivia slowly backed off. Casey lifted her right hand and placed it underneath Olivia's chin then forced her head up and starred right into Olivia's brown eyes

"And because of what he did to you" she said as Olivia met her eyes, Olivia put up a straight face before her chin started trembling

"Yes, yes, yes, God yes" she repeated as she finally broke down. Casey wrapped her arms around her and let her cry on her shoulder.

"Olivia, honey, I've been here. When Milan Zergin beat the hell out of me in my office I was so scared, I thought I'd never get over that fear. I wanted to get him so bad, and that's why they took me off the case. I was too involved. I didn't think so at the time, but now I am glad they did. I would have lost all credibility, I would not have been able to stay objective"

Olivia continued fighting her tears, still leaning on Casey's shoulder

"But you got him Casey, I want to get Harris. I want to get him so bad. He nearly raped me, he almost turned me into a victim, and I am not a victim. The thought of him making me one pisses me off more than the attempted rape itself. I can't stand the thought of the guys looking at me with pity. Looking at me the same way the look at the rape victims we help, thinking that I need help. That's why I didn't say anything"

Casey stroke Olivia's back

"Olivia, they wouldn't have done that. They know you can handle just as much as them. Did you think less of Fin when he was shot, or when Elliot was attacked and nearly went blind? They were victims too, but you didn't see them as one, you saw them as cop's injured in the line of duty. You knew they would bounce back didn't you?"

Olivia felt a slight comfort in Casey's arm, but it got too intense, so she backed off

"Elliot thinks he has to protect me. Ever since Victor Gitano slit my throat at that bus station I've had to prove to him I can take care of myself. I don't want him to know what Harris did to me, what I was unable to avoid"

Casey stroked her chin and looked at her

"No one knows about it? Haven't you talked to anyone about this?"

"Fin knows. Oh God, Fin came in and saw me sitting on the floor, cuffed to the door with Harris penis in my…."

"Olivia!?" Casey's stomach turned by what Olivia was about to say, Olivia continued

"I tried to bite my lips together, but he forced my mouth open. He squeezed my cheeks together. It hurt so bad I had to open my mouth to make the pain stop."

Tears filled up Casey's eyes as Olivia kept on talking, constantly fighting her own tears

"I couldn't stop him Casey, and he was..."

Liv breathed heavily, nearly gasping for air

"He...he was in me" Olivia shivered and gave away a little whimper before she quickly continued "only for a second , cause as soon as I heard someone open the door I threw my head back so it smashed into the door behind me. It was Fin, Fin came in and saw it!"

Olivia looked at Casey as she once again lost the fight with her tears. They were streaming down her face and she fell down on the chair next to her

"Oh God Casey" she whispered as she covered her mouth with her right hand "God, I can still taste him"

Then she started sobbing, she could not stop crying. This was the first time she had talked about it since it happened. She knew she should have dealt with it sooner. All her experience with rape victims, all the advices she gave them – she should have know better. But she couldn't bare the thought of loosing face.

Casey kneeled down beside her and placed one hand on her knee, gently stroking her. She had nothing to say, she just sat there till Liv had calmed down.


	7. Discussing the case

**Authors note: Thank you so much for your nice reviews on chapter 6! :-D One of my reviewers demonchilde pointed something out to me that I would like to respond to. Yes, entrapment was probably not the best choice of words. I kind of new what entrapment was, but the way you explained it - it became more clear to me. I have actually been thinking about that line, it didn't sit well with me, and I was about to remove it -but I can see a defense attorney trying to argue that it was (since their arguments are insane from time to time), so I kept it. That brings me to why Casey seemed OOC -What Casey said was not her own personal opinion, she said the things she said to show Olivia what she would be up against in court. At the end of their argument she tells Olivia that she believes her, but that she was just being realistic.  
Thank you so much for pointing it out though ;-) Appreciated!  
**

* * *

Elliot was sitting behind his desk when Olivia came in to the squad that morning. He looked at her and thought about what Cragen had said the day before. He knew he couldn't tell her that he knew about it, it was obvious she didn't want him to know.

So he tried as best as he could not to follow his urge to get up in Olivia's face and tell her he would kill Harris for what he did to her

"You alright Liv?"

Olivia was immediately uncomfortable by the worried tone of his voice, but she tried to hide her emotions

"Yeah, sure.."

"Liv, we got another letter last night" he handed her the letter he'd gotten the day before. Olivia looked at him, grabbed the letter and read it

**-I am really enjoying this case,**

**watching Olivia's meaningless chase!**

**How does it make her feel**

**seeing her nightmare become real?**

**She failed to help these women once again,**

**how do you think it's gonna end?**

**Will she force them to kill me later?**

**Guess I better stay safe,**

**cause you're not getting me either-**

Her heart started pounding and she felt herself shaking, but she managed to hide it from Elliot. She took a deep breath and turned towards him

"It's Harris Elliot, Lowell Harris"

Elliot decided to hide the fact that he already knew Harris was a suspect. He knew it was wrong, but if he told her, she would understand that Cragen had told him about her attack. Besides, he wanted Olivia to tell him that it was Harris, cause if she did, maybe she would open up and tell him why she thought it was him.

"Harris? The prison guard? Is he..."

"He is out, yes, Casey told me"

"Why did they let him go?"

Olivia sighed, she was not ready to deal with the emotions that came over her every time she thought about the fact that he was out there again.

"Not enough evidence, so they had to..."

Olivia paused and took a deep breath

"...so they had to let him go" she finished and sat down by her desk, shook her head, then put her head in her hands and leaned against her desk.

"What are we doing here Elliot? Why do we bother doing this job? We put them in, we catch them and all they do is put them back on the street again. It's no use"

Elliot went over to Olivia and touched her shoulder "Come on Liv, you know that's not true"

Olivia recoiled from his touch and starred at him "Yeah El, I can't control this anymore. We have no control"

"when did they let him go??" He sighed

"Two weeks ago. Two weeks Elliot!! I can't believe I wasn't notified!"

Elliot paused, he looked at Olivia who were starring down at her desk, he bit his lips and he decided to ask

"How did you figure out it was him?" He knew it was a risky question. But maybe, just maybe she would open up to him.

Liv knew the question was bound to come; she starred down at some papers on her desk and tried to seem unaffected by the question

"Oh you know. Because of the similarities between the cases. The perp showed a fake badge to get to my files, just the way Harris got to Ashley's rape kit"

Elliot sighed as he realized he had to push her a little more "That could have been anyone Olivia, that's just a coincidence"

Olivia looked up at Elliot and raised the tone of her voice

"Lowell Harris wants to control me. I took away his control when I was undercover. He could not break me down the way he broke those other women down. So he is breaking down people around me to give me the feeling of loosing control. He picked the victims I couldn't help, who ended up killing their attacker because we didn't have control over the legal system. I just know it his him."

Liv was mad; she really didn't need all these questions. But she couldn't tell him to stop asking, if she did he would understand how much this got to her, and she did not want to seem weak in front of Stabler. She couldn't afford being weak in front of him, not if she wanted his respect.

Elliot on the other hand tried to reach her once again

"Yeah, that says allot about our perp and his motivation, but it doesn't exactly point to Harris. It could be anyone Liv. Are there other similarities that make you think it's Harris? Anything?"

Liv's heart started beating; she bit her teeth's together and turned her eyes away from him and down at her desk again

"Oh, well, it was the way Hilary and Harper were attacked"

Elliot took a deep breath! There! She was finally gonna tell him what happened.

"Yeah Liv, what about that?" He said softly while leaning towards her. Olivia backed off and started fumbling with some papers, desperately trying to seem unaffected

"They were attacked the same way as Harris attacked Risa in prison, and the same way he once attacked Amber, my cell mate. They told me about it"

Olivia was ashamed; she just lied to her partner, flat out lied. But she had to, she really didn't want him to know.

It broke Elliot's heart that she still didn't want to tell him about what happened.

"Liv, this guy has a serious grudge against you. I don't think you need to be around the office just now. Go home, rest for a while; there is nothing you can do here right now"

Olivia started shaking her head long before Elliot got to finish his sentence. "No Elliot seriously, I need to be here. I am not letting this guy control my actions"

"Liv, go home! I will continue to track down Harris. I'll call you the moment I have something new"

Liv didn't have the energy to protest anymore, the thought of going to bed was overwhelming.

She hadn't slept at all that night, she was so tired. But she hated closing her eyes, every time she closed her eyes she saw Harris, she relived what he did to her. When she closed her eyes it was almost as if she could feel him standing over her, pressing his crotch up against her face, her lips. And when those images finally left her, she started thinking about what he might have done if he hadn't removed her cuffs, or what he might have done if Fin hadn't found her, these thoughts forced her eyes wide open, and desperately trying to focus on something else.

She'd tried to count backwards from hundred, she tried to repeat the lyrics of her favorite songs, she even tried to count sheep's out of desperation - but the uncomfortable images always came back to her.

Would he have killed her? Cause she would have bit him, a couple of more seconds and she would have bit him as hard as she could. Would he have been so wounded that he'd pass out? Or would he have managed to kill her?

When these thoughts left her mind, she always ended up thinking about what she could have done differently, if she could have said something to him to avoid it. She should have said she was a cop when Harris told her she was going to the hole, she should have known that it was foolish going off alone together with a CO in that prison. Anyone of them could have been the rapist,she jumped to conclusion when she thought it was Matthew Parker. It was naive to think she was safe going with Harris to the hole.

Liv felt herself shaking cause she was so tired, her legs could barely hold her up. Yes, she needed to go home, she needed to lie down, so it didn't take any more convincing.

"Ok Elliot, but you call me the second you have something new!"

Elliot was relived, she actually listen to him, who would have thought.

"Sure Liv. And one more thing, could you please accept a protective detail outside your apartment? I know you can take care of yourself, but it would give me some piece of mind. Please, do it for me? For your overprotective and paranoid partner?"

Liv was actually relieved by the question. She wanted it, for the first time in her SVU history she needed someone to watch over her to feel safe. _Damn you Harris_, she thought to herself when she realized that fact. But since Elliot was the one to bring it up she at least didn't have to request one her self. There was no way in hell she would have done that.

"Ok Elliot. You know how I feel about that. But anything to keep your ugly mug off my back"

They smiled at each other as Liv grabbed her jacket and left the squad room.

"Thank God you sometimes have little loopholes in that stubbornness off yours" he said to himself as she left.


	8. Meet the parents

After Olivia left, Elliot went over to the parole board office.

"Elliot Stabler SVU, I need to talk to whoever is handling Lowell Harris release" he said and flashed his badge to the officer at the front desk.

An officer sitting a little further away overheard and walked towards Stabler "That's me, I'm Douglas Kean"

"I need to know the address registered for Lowell Harris"

"Ah, Lowell Harris. A very nice guy, quite polite. Wrongfully convicted, such a shame" he said and shook his head "I can't believe they took a crack whores word over his. Such a damn shame judging him without knowing more about what happened"

Elliot starred at him and bit his teeth's together "Yeah, don't you just hate it when people don't know what their talking about!"

"Yeah, it's a shame"

_The idiot doesn't even understand sarcasm _Elliot thought to himself, but decided not to let this guy get to him "Now, where is he?"

"Don't worry, he's no skip. He was here two days ago for his weekly rapport; he'll be back in five days."

"You haven't checked up on him since his release?"

"No, I have a full case load, I can only focus on the once we figure as repeaters. Harris was a respected Prison guard and Captain, I see no reason following up on him outside our weekly meetings"

Elliot shook his head "I still need to talk to him, where can I find him?"

The officer went over to his desk and got some papers "Oh well. He is staying at his mother's house at the time, here's the address" he said and gave Elliot the file

"The poor guy lost his apartment after he was put in. Such a shame. Us officers need to stick together and not turn on one another. I heard it was a police woman who set him up. Ah man, those butch female cops, you have to watch every step around them to not end up with a sexual harassment suit against you"

Elliot was burning in rage, but he said nothing. He knew it was no point arguing with men like Douglas Kean. He knew how strong the policy about not turning on other officers of the law, parole board officers, correctional officers, police officers etc. They were all working the same field- keeping the bad guys away, and they go far to protect each other.

"Why weren't we notified about his release? Detective Olivia Benson and my self were handling his case, we should have been notified."

The officer quickly looked at Elliot

"Olivia Benson, that's the detective who set him up. Well, I don't know why you weren't notified, but I sure wasn't gonna tell her that he was out so she could continue her witch hunt. Stupid revengeful woman, who actually listened to the bitches in prison crying rape. That's what you get when you allow women to handle rape cases, seems like they are unable to stay objective."

Elliot took a deep breath and realized he needed to get out of there before he'd do something he knew he would regret.  
"Yeah, such a damn shame isn't it? Harris is wanted for two more rapes after he got out. So I suggest that you, in the future, spend a little more time doing your job instead of creating your own insane theories" he said as he rushed out of the office.

* * *

Elliot got to Lauren Harris house and knocked on the door. A tall woman in tiger striped tights and a pink blouse with even more pink sequins on the front of it, came out. She was blond, but he could tell she wasn't a natural blond, it was bleached to death, her dark roots and incredible split ends gave it away.

She looked at Elliot and smiled seductively. Her face was wrinkled and way too tanned for the season. _She spends_ t_oo much time in tanning saloons_ he thought to himself.

"Who'a you?" she said with a whiskey voice.

"Elliot Stabler, special victims unit. I'm here to talk to your son"

"SVU huh..." she said as she took a long drag of her cigarette and blew the smoke out towards Elliot's face "You're from the idiot squad that couldn't keep my no good son locked up?"

Elliot coughed and waved the cigarette smoke away from his face "Excuse me?"

He was puzzled. Everyone seemed to be satisfied with the fact that Harris was released, it felt as if they were fighting the whole system to convince them that Harris was bad news, and now his mother turned out to be the one they didn't have to fight.

"You're excused hon. Can we take this inside, it's colder than a witch's tit out here, and I need a drink" she said and went in to the living room

Elliot went after her "Mrs Harris, your son…"

Lauren coughed and took another drag of her cigarette "Oh, Lowy has always been a walking tragedy. A freaking bed wetter" she said and laughed "He could never stand up for himself, but this time he actually managed to lie his way out of this. Guess he learned something on his way after all."

Elliot shook his head from confusion "Uhm Mrs Harris, we have reason to believe that he raped two women since his release, we really need to get a hold of him"

Lauren laughed "Rape huh? Figures, guess he didn't get it any other way. Oh well, he's not here, he's only been here once since his release"

"But Mrs Harris, he registered this address at the parole board. You're telling me he's not living here?"

"Hell no!" she replied as she fixed herself a drink. She waved the bottle up in Elliot's face, apparently offering him a drink

"No thanks."

"Suit yourself, more for me"

"Why isn't he here? "

"Cause I kicked his ass out of my house, that's why"

"And you don't know where he is now?"

She took a big zip of her drink and shook her head "nope, I don't know and I sure as hell don't care. I was done with Lowy when he was 18, I couldn't stand him any longer so I kicked him out. The bastard reminded me too much of his father, they were both losers, good riddance!" She said and fixed her blouse, exposing even more of her cleavage, then started walking slowly towards Elliot  
"But now officer, what about changing the subject? You sure you don't want a drink?" she smiled and wiggled her drink, and almost tripped over her own feet while attempting to seduce Elliot.

Elliot laughed to himself over this half hearted gesture from this drunken woman who was screaming for affection.

"Yes I'm sure Mrs. Harris" he said and smiled back at her

"Ahh, it's no use" she sighed and softly slapped Elliot's chest "As pathetic as Lowy is, he is surprisingly the one to find love"

"He's got a girlfriend?"

Lauren sighed and fixed herself another drink. "God knows how that happened, but yes he does. When he came over, he kept rambling about getting back together with a woman he'd met just before they put his lousy ass behind bars. Apparently they met trough work. Maybe you'll find him at her place, that is if she haven't kicked him out yet"

"You got a name?"

"Yes, oh what was it...Uhm Livia, no wait Olivia. Yeah, that's her name, Olivia. Poor Olivia, God knows what she sees in him"

"Yeah, one can wonder" he said silently as he felt his heart started pounding, he needed to get out of there now and get a hold of Olivia

Lauren nodded and finished her drink

Elliot found one of his cards and handed it to her "Excuse me Mrs Harris, but I got to go. Will you call me if he shows up?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever" she said and put the card in between her cleavage and smiled

"No wonder Harris so screwed up" he thought as he left Mrs. Harris and rushed back to the squad.


	9. Apartment

When Elliot came back to the squad Cragen was there waiting for him.

"Stabler, I need you in my office now!"

Elliot quickly threw his jacket on his chair and rushed over to him "What's up Captain?"

"Did you locate Harris?"

"No unfortunately. He registered his mother's house as his current address, I went over there and talked to her, but she has no idea where he is. He's only been there once since his release"

"You believe her?"

"Yeah I do, she would have turned him in in a heartbeat!"

"Have you talked to the parole board? They should know where he is, haven't they checked up on him?

Elliot sighed "No cap, the officer handling his case supports him, and didn't see a reason checking up on him outside from their weekly meetings. Last meeting took place two days ago; he is supposed to be back in five days. But I doubt he will show up there again."

"Elliot, we found out the flowers to Olivia were ordered from a pay phone in an apartment building downtown. We checked the apartment, no one under the name Jon Smith lives there, but a man named Cory Taylor rented an apartment two weeks ago, and paid first month in cash. Landlord said he was quiet and polite, but he couldn't give us a good description. Its worth checking out."

Elliot grabbed the address handed to him and got his phone "I'll call Liv"

"Elliot, don't! Let her relax, call her when we know for sure."

"Captain, he is fixed on her! He told his mother she was his girlfriend and that they were gonna get back together. "

"Elliot, there is a protective detail outside her house, checking everyone in and out. She is safe! You go check out this address now Elliot!"

"Ahh Captain, she's gonna kick my ass if I don't call her. I promised I'd call her as soon as we got something!"

"Just blame it on me, cause it is an order."

Elliot grabbed his jacket and went over to the apartment building

* * *

As he got to the apartment building he met an old guy on his way in

"Elliot Stabler, special victims unit. You the landlord?"

"Yes yes, thats me. How an I help you?" He said as he ran a hand trough his gray hair.

"We called you about one of your renters."

The landlord adjusted his glasses and studied Stabler's badge, then looked up at him,

"Yes yes, thats right, about Cory Taylor. Nice guy, a very nice guy, nothing weird about him, no no"

"Do you see Mr Taylor in one of these photos?" Elliot asked and handed him photo's of eight different men.

The landlord carefully studied each picture, scratched his head, looked up at Elliot and smiled between each photo. Elliot smiled back every time, and tried to hide his impatience.

Finally the landlord stopped at one of the pictures,

"Yes yes, thats him, thats Cory!" He said with a satisfied gleam in his eyes and pointed his finger on Lowell Harris cold face.

"Is he home?"

"No no, I haven't seen him since last night"

"I need to take a look at his apartment"

"Oh oh, now hold on. Don't you need a warrant for that or something? I respect my renters privacy, I can't open their apartment for just anyone, no no"

Elliot didn't have a warrant, but he'd made arrangements with Casey, If the landlord ID'd Harris as the renter, a warrant would be on it's way

He called Cragen

"Captain, it's him, we got him!"

"Elliot, you go in to his apartment, I'll clear it with Casey"

The landlord went upstairs together with Elliot and opened the door, Elliot walked in. The first thing that met him were white walls,no personal items, just a table in the middle of the room, a chair, and a big mirror on the wall with two photo's glued to it.

Elliot walked closer to the mirror and shivered as he recognized the woman on the photo,

it was a picture of Olivia!

Above that picture is was a picture of Harris, he was smiling and his eyes were looking down on the picture underneath him, like he was watching her.

Elliot shook his head and turned away from the pictures, he walked over to the bedroom and opened the door, the room was the same. White walls with nothing on them, and just a bed in the corner of the room. As he came closer to the bed he noticed a picture on the wall next to it, and by the feet of the bed was another picture - both of Olivia. Elliot looked up at the ceiling, and just as he thought, there was a third picture of her.

He froze, he shivered, his heart was beating fast and he was taking deep breaths in order to concentrate, to find out what to do next. The landlord interrupted the silence by clapping his hands together

"Oh oh, Isn't that sweet, so sweet, he must really love her. Seems like she is the last person he wants to see before going to bed, and the first person he wants to see in the morning."

Elliot quickly turned towards him, the landlord jumped at the sudden movement

"Oh oh, I'm sorry. I've always been such a romantic and things like this just make my day you know."

Elliot just sighed, left the room and tried to call Olivia

No answer

He decided to drive over to her place to check up on her , no matter how mad that would make Olivia.


	10. Finding Jennifer

Olivia slowly tumbled out of the shower, she'd been in there at least an hour but she still didn't feel clean. _What a freaking cliché_ she thought to herself.

She had never really been able to put herself in rape victim's situation when they said they took hour long showers and still felt dirty. She remembered how she'd always thought about that, how that must feel like. She could never picture it , but understood that it must be a strong sensation since every rape victim she'd ever talked to had said the exact same thing.

And now when she knew, she wished she'd never had used so much time thinking about how it must have felt...

Olivia grabbed her bathrobe and got out the bathroom. As she came in to the living room she heard someone at her door; she quickly grabbed her gun from the table next to her and pointed it at the door. Then she saw the letterbox flap move and a letter coming trough it. She quickly rushed over there, grabbed the letter and opened the door.

She didn't see anyone outside, so she rushed down the hall way, down the stairs and out the door, there she saw someone running away from her apartment and towards the protective detail standing outside

"Get him. Get that guy!!" she screamed as she ran towards the car, the officer got out of the car and ran after him. Olivia came running around the corner and saw the officer holding the perp in a tight grip, as she came closer she saw it was a kid, and that he couldn't be more than 13 years old

"Let me go! I didn't do nothing, let me go, don't let her get to me officer, please!!" the kid screamed as the police officer tightened his grip around him.

"Is this your perp detective?" he said rather confused while struggling to keep the kid from running

"Someone just put this trough my letterbox flap." She said and waved the letter at the officer, then turning to the little boy "Was it you?"

"Let me go!! " The kid screamed and starred at Olivia "Just don't hurt me, don't hurt me lady" he cried

"Look, I am not gonna hurt you, but I need you to tell me why you gave this to me"

"Let me go and I'll tell you"

Olivia nodded at the officer and he let go of the boy, then she went over to him and looked him in the eyes "Tell me, why did you give this to me?"

"Cause some guy told me to" the kid said and looked down at the ground

"Who told you?" she said strictly and grabbed his face, forcing him to look at her

"Just some guy, he said he was a police officer. He said he needed someone to deliver this letter to a suspect and that he couldn't do it himself cause he was undercover. He gave me your name and address and 20 dollars to do it. He told me not to get caught or you'd hurt me, like you hurt those other people"

Olivia took a deep breath and quickly opened the letter

**-Ahh Olivia**

**To my next victim,  
I am near!  
**

**Do you think she'll protect me too,  
if**** I end up in a wheelchair?**

"Oh my God" she whispered and looked at the officer "I might have a lead on our next victim, I'm gonna run up and call Stabler. Get someone to take the kid home!"

Olivia ran back to her building and into her apartment. She grabbed the phone, she breathed heavily and her hands were shaking uncontrollably as she dialed Stabler's number _Oh hope Its not too late, It can't be too late, please don't let it be too late_ she repeated to herself while waiting for Stabler to answer the phone

"Stabler"

"Elliot its Liv, I got another letter!"

"What? When?"

"Just now Elliot, just now. A kid delivered it to me"

"Olivia, I am on my way over to you right now"

"No Elliot, listen you have no time. It's Jennifer Neal, you know, the woman who ended up defending her rapist, we almost lost him cause she didn't wanna give up his name before the statue of limitation ran out, the rape victim I put in lock up Elliot, I can't ruin her life anymore, Elliot you need to get to her!!" she cried

"Slow down Liv, relax. I'll call Cragen and get her address. I'll tell you where and we'll meet there"

Olivia hesitated to answer

"Liv, you there? I said I'll get her address and tell you were to meet me"

"Elliot...Can you... I mean...could you just go over there and I'll…..."

Olivia fumbled for the words, how could she explain to her partner that she just wasn't ready to go. If Harris had Jennifer and he was still there with her, she would have to face him, and she just couldn't. She really needed to rest right now, she had no energy left, and she was too scared.  
But she didn't need to tell him, Elliot got the picture.

"It's okay Liv, you get some rest. I'm gonna call for back up"

Olivia closed her eyes and sighed "Thanks El"

She hung up the phone and tossed the phone on the bed _Try to go to sleep Liv, come on try to get some rest s_he calmly said to herself and rubbed her temples. But she was too stressed; she felt she shouldn't be home, she should be out there with Elliot rescuing Jennifer. After all she was the reason he targeted Jennifer. _Elliot will handle this, I don't need to be there, I can rest...Oh, how can I rest when Harris is out there._

She sat down on the bed and embraced her stomach and wiggled back and forth as she tried to breathe calmly, she looked out of the window to see if her protective detail was still outside, it was, she sighed as she felt a slight comfort.

And then she broke down crying, she hated the fact that she had to have someone watch over her to feel safe. She thought about everything that Harris had taken away from her - her feeling of safety, the feeling that she could control everything, the comfort of knowing that she was able to protect herself - everything was gone because of Harris.

She'd never really been afraid of a perp before. Sure there had been some that spooked her, like Richard White, he put a scare in her. But she knew how to play him, she knew what he was, she'd figured out how to take control back from him - by not fixating on him. He had been in her mind from time to time, but she had never been afraid of him, she hadn't lost any sleep out of fear from him. Maybe just a few nights from what he'd said to her, that he would be in her mind, like her mother had her rapist in her mind, but everytime she thought about that she forced herself to stop thinking about him, to not give him that satisfaction.

This time she was unable to avoid those thoughts, she was scared, she was freaked out, and she was scared for Jennifer. She didn't want Jennifer to have to experience all that again because of her.

Yes, Olivia cried, she cried uncontrollably, she covered her face in her hands and sobbed. She was so tired of this case, so tired of Harris…

But after a while she got herself together, removed her bathrobe and put on a pair of panties and a t-shirt. She took a deep breath as she got down under the quilt and closed her eyes.

* * *

As Elliot hung up on Olivia he realized how much this case was getting to his partner. Normally she would have rushed over to meet him and not give a damn about the protective detail or of some perp coming after her. Normally he would have had to convince her to stay home under the supervision of the protective detail._ I hope she'll talk to me about this one day_ he thought to himself as he put on the sirens and called for back up.

When he got to Jennifer's apartment his back up was already there, Elliot got out of the car and rushed over to them.

"Ok, victims name is Jennifer Neal; she lives in apartment 15 B"

They ran upstairs and got in front of her door, Elliot knocked, no answer

He knocked again "This is the police, Jennifer are you in there??"

No answer

They decided to kick the door open

Elliot got in front of the doorway and pointed his gun towards the room in front of him, next to the table by the phone was Jennifer starring at Elliot

"Elliot Stabler, NYPD, are you alright?"

"No, please don't hurt me! I just called 911!!" she screamed and fell down on the floor covering her head in her hands

"Is anyone in here with you?"

"No, no one is here, please don't hurt me, please!!"

Elliot put his gun away and leaned down to Jennifer "Look, Jennifer, I am not here to hurt you, I am here to help you, you might be in danger"

Jennifer quickly looked up at Elliot and breathed heavily "He said that too, he said that too"

"Who said that?"

"One of your colleagues was here before and warned me about you. He said you were out to get me for almost ruining your rape case when I protected my rapist. And he said that you were angry cause you screwed up this one too"

"He told you I screwed u…." he stopped talking as he realized how much he'd just screwed up

"Stay with her until I get back to you" he said to the officers as he rushed out and drove over to Olivia's apartment as fast as he could _I screwed up Olivia, sorry Olivia, I'm so sorry_ _Olivia, it can't be too late, oh please don't let it be too late_...


	11. Finally close to her

Olivia didn't have time to react before he was on top of her. She screamed as he covered her mouth with his sweaty hand. He starred at her; he was finally close to her. He leaned down and smelled her hair, and smiled when he saw her shrink back in fear.

_He'd been so satisfied when he saw her running out of her apartment building only wearing a bathrobe, chasing after the little kid. He'd been even more satisfied when he saw the officer protecting her run after him too. He'd looked at the open door to the building, and slightly giggled to himself when he found that her apartment door was open as well. It had been easier than he thought. He'd found his way to her bedroom closet and slipped inside_

_He'd been looking at her trough the door; he'd seen her sitting there just a few feet away, the woman who once took away his control_

_She was spooked now, seeing her so out of control was as satisfying as he'd imagined, even more so._

_ He got warm all over from watching her cry, from watching her rock her body back and forth, embracing her stomach as if she was in pain. _

_He had barely been able to hold it together when he saw her take of the bathrobe and got a glimpse of her naked body. Seeing her standing there naked in front of him, shivering from fear and exhaustion, had him close to a climax, but knew he had to wait. He waited until she was totally vulnerable, until she got in bed, ready like a meal, a special meal just for him – then he saw her close her eyes._

"Mhhmmhhmm" Olivia screamed and moved underneath him, he raised his hand and hit her hard over the mouth

"Shut up bitch" he oozed

"Get off me, get off me" she screamed at the top of her lungs

Harris laughed as he went to kiss her mouth

"Did you miss me Olivia? Have you at all been thinking about me?"

Olivia totally panicked; she forgot how to act like a cop,she could not stay calm like she should have. She knew that fighting a rapist always made them more aggressive and more likely to consummate the rape, she knew this, but she couldn't help it. She wanted to stay calm, she wanted to be able to talk to him, to see if she could be able to talk her way out of it, or at least keep talking long enough for someone to rescue her before he……

Oh, the thought of what he might do if she didn't fight hard enough or if no one came to look for her, raised even more panic in her. She could not lay still, she was kicking and screaming and moving around, she was out of control

"Nooo, Nooo, let me go, let me go, LET ME GO NOW!!"

Harris slapped her again "I told you to shut up!"

"Please, get of me, please don't do this, DON'T, get off me, GET OFF ME!!"

Harris kept laughing and squeezed her throat , Olivia froze

"Do you really think I'm gonna let you get away this time? Please don't underestimate me, that's only gonna make me more angry, you know that" he oozed as he gazed at her and gently stroke her face, Olivia quickly turned away from his touch

He got off her, grabbed his gun and held it underneath her chin

"Don't move" he whispered as he grabbed the quilt and ripped it off her, Olivia whimpered and immediately got in fetus position

"Lay straight down on the bed" he commanded, but Olivia didn't move, she only gave away silent whimpers

"Lay straight down on the bed bitch!"

"Please, please don't" she whispered

"I am not gonna ask you again Olivia!!"

He pushed his gun harder in under her chin; Olivia straightened her legs and got on her back, then closed her eyes and moved her head away from him

He put his hand on her thigh and stroked her up and down, she shivered from every touch

"Ahh, just as smooth as I'd imagined"

A deadly silence came over the room, Olivia knew she could not escape this time, she cried silently as she heard Harris breath increase every time he touched her, feeling him move his hand closer and closer in between her legs

The sound of her phone broke the silence; Olivia opened her eyes and starred at him

"Look, that's probably my partner calling. If I don't answer he will get suspicious and come rushing over here!!"

Olivia knew that if it was Elliot calling, she could be overly nice to him when he asked her if she was fine - cause she knew he would ask her if she was fine, he always did, and she always said _Sure_, nothing more. But now, if she could just answer that phone and really exaggerate how fine she was he would get the picture and rush over to her... She really needed to pick up that phone!

"Listen Harris, you don't want him to interrupt you do you?? If I answer I can tell him everything is fine, and he wont come over. Look, just let me answer the phone, you don't want him to come over do you?"

Harris laughed. "Actually, I am counting on it; he probably just realized Jennifer wasn't my next victim. And you know, I don't want to keep him from seeing you like this"

Olivia looked at him with eyes full of questions

"That's right Olivia, I know about your biggest fear. You don't wanna look weak in front of Elliot, isn't that so? Well he is sure gonna get a nice surprise when he sees you now, humiliated and degraded. He will surely loose respect for you now Olivia.  
But you humiliated me too didn't you; you overpowered me in front of my fellow officers. They lost all respect for me after that, and whose fault is that?"

Olivia breathed heavily, but tried to stay as calm as possible. She embraced this moment, the moment she'd been waiting for, when she finally would be able to talk to him. If she continued talking to him maybe Elliot would get there before he got to finish what seemed to be the inevitable right now.

"That's your fault Harris, you're the one who hurt the inmates, you're the one who failed to do your job. They didn't loose respect for you because of me, they lost respect for you, because you are a pathetic person and a pathetic prison guard" Olivia's voice and lips trembled. She starred up at Harris and couldn't believe what she'd just said, she expected to be punched again.

Harris on the other hand just looked at her and smiled

"Is that so huh? Well, you are right about one thing; I don't want Elliot to interrupt me, and we are running out of time here. So I guess we have to cut the foreplay short and go straight to the main event"

He stopped smiling, got on top of her again, yanked his hand underneath her t-shirt and grabbed her breast

"No! NO!" Olivia ordered, as if she tried to command him not to touch her

Harris hit her hard in the stomach and she lost her breath. When it came back to her she started hitting him in the chest and fumbled like crazy to get her legs away from underneath him. Harris caught both her hands and pushed them up over her head

"Guess we gonna need the cuffs after all huh? You enjoyed that game, didn't you?"

"No, don't do that, NO, please don't do that"

He ignored her and pinned her down as he grabbed the cuffs from his belt and cuffed one of her hands, then pushed her off the bed; Olivia quickly got up and headed for the window,

"HEEEEELP!!" she screamed and banged her hands against the window, hoping her protective detail would see her. She panicked even more when she didn't see the car outside

"Ahh Oliviaaa, don't do that. I'm too turned on to start chasing after you" he said as he grabbed the back of her head, pulled her towards him by her hair, and threw her down on the floor.

"Owww" she cried as her head hit the wall, and she slid down next to the bed. He grabbed both her hands and cuffed them around one of the bed legs.

"Let me go, Let me go!!" she shouted

"Sit still" he commanded, Olivia kept pulling her hands back and forth , desperately trying to get loose and kicked Harris away with her feet's

"I'm gonna have to teach you a lesson girl, It seems you still don't know who's in charge" he grabbed his baton and started hitting her, hard, repeatedly.

"Owww, OOOWwww. Stop, STOP!" she screamed and turned her face to the wall to avoid being hit in the face

"Are you gonna behave Olivia?" he asked as he raised his baton and threatened to hit her again. Olivia turned and looked at him; her eyes were full of fear as she saw the baton being aimed towards her head

"Yes, yes, just please don't hit me anymore, please!"

She tried to move, tried to get in a more comfortable position, but she had to lie down with her legs straight. The pain from the beating was overwhelming and it was too painful to sit, so she just laid there and prayed to God that Elliot was close.

"No no no, don't lie down Olivia, get up" he said calmly

Olivia didn't move

"Straighten up girl, come on, be a good girl and straighten up"

"Please, I can't, It hurts" she cried

He sat down next to her and gently grabbed her face "Awww, did I hurt you baby? I'm sorry..."

Harris looked at her, touched her T-shirt and started ripping it off her

"No, don't. Don't do that! Don't!!" she begged and immediately straightened up and brought her knees to her chest.

Harris smiled "You see. It wasn't that painful was it, you're just joking around with me, you little tease"

He gazed at her as she leaned her head against the wall and closed her eyes "Please don't do this, don't hurt me, please" she begged silently, knowing it would not help other than stalling him

Harris stroke her face, running his fingertips over her forehead, cheeks, chin, sliding across to the earlobe, back to her face again and wiped away her tears, then moved his hand down to her breast, gently touching them, Olivia shivered and recoiled from the touch

"Aren't you a little overdressed for this party?" he asked and ripped open her t-shirt so her stomach and breasts were almost fully exposed. Olivia whimpered and brought her knees closer to her chest to cover up.

Harris looked at her and laughed as he placed one hand on both knees and started forcing her legs apart

"NO! NO!" she screamed and kicked him away; Harris fell down next to her

He slowly got up on his feet again, unzipped his pants and exposed himself

"Now you know what will happen if you bite" he whispered as he got in front of her "Don't be shy, we got time before Elliot comes over"

Olivia didn't move, she just sat there watching him in fear

"Girl, now you're just stalling. Listen, my need for Elliot to see you like this is not stronger than my urge to kill you if you continue to disobey me, you got me?" he said as he grabbed her face and pushed his crotch towards her

"No, I can't, no, NO, NO" she screamed and bit her lips together

Harris got away from her and started forcing her legs apart again

"NOOOO!"


	12. Finding Olivia

Elliot drove up to Olivia's building, ran over to the protective detail and knocked on the car window

"You seen anyone?" he asked as the officer opened the window

"Nope, no one in or out since that boy came over"

"Hey, come on, you sure you haven't seen anyone going in?"

"No, no one since that little kid" the officer replied, visibly annoyed

"Where's the kid?" Elliot looked over at the backseat.

"I drove him home" the officer yawned, seemingly unaffected

"You did WHAT??"

"Listen, no one else had time to give him a ride, and I couldnt have a little kid hanging around here"

"YOU LEFT HER??" he shouted and smashed his hand on the roof of the car, the officer jumped

"HEY!! I thought you had the guy I'm protecting her from, I thought he was after that other woman"

"Ah man, you don't know what you've done!!" Elliot screamed as he ran over to her apartment

* * *

Harris was still forcing Olivia's legs apart while laughing at her hopeless struggling.

"Look, Olivia! I am gonna have you one way or another, it's your choice honey, how do you wanna give yourself to me?"

"No, no, no" she sobbed and shook her head

"You know I'll kill you if you don't, so come on - cut the crap and tell me your favorite position...Oral or regular?"

Olivia took a deep breath as she felt Harris gun on her temple and realized he would kill her.

She could tell that he felt the satisfaction of having her was worth many many years in jail. Harris had nothing to loose, he was going away for a long time anyway, he knew that. She knew his rage was strong enough for him to kill her if she didn't give him what he wanted, cause this fantasy was all he had left. He was surely gonna get caught, and he would kill her if she didn't satisfy him before that.

Olivia gave up, she realized she had to do whatever it took to survive before Elliot got there, if he at all were on his way.

"Oh God" she whimpered as she decided to open her mouth.

"Ahhh good choice Olivia, I see we have the same preferences"

Olivia shivered as Harris got in position

"Come on, open it a little more..."

He gently tapped his gun on her mouth

"Open wide baby...Thhhere you go, yessss" he moaned as he leaned closer towards her and finished of his fantasy

.

**RIIIIING **- doorbell

.

Olivia quickly recoiled and shut her mouth. She was filled with energy to fight more, but just as she was about to scream Harris grabbed pieces of her torn t-shirt and gagged her.

"Liv, you in there??"

The sound of Elliot's voice made her even more willing to fight, even though she panicked by the thought of him seeing her like this, cuffed to the bed in only a pair of panties and half a t-shirt.

Harris grabbed his gun

"Shhhh, don't ruin his surprise girl."

He walked out of the room and Olivia started struggling with the cuffs again, she looked over at her table next to the bed - there was her gun - if she could only...  
Then she realized she could lift the bed leg she was cuffed to and get the cuffs underneath it, but the bed was too heavy to lift and her arms ached from the beating.

Once again she broke down crying

* * *

"Liv you in there? I'm coming in!!" Elliot shouted from outside her door

Harris was standing in the living room, pointing his gun towards the door he knew Elliot soon would enter.

The door was kicked open, Elliot quickly drew his gun when he saw Harris - they were both pointing at each other, breathing heavily. Elliot broke the silence;

"Where is she?? WHERE IS SHE??"

Harris smiled

"Oh she's here. Don't worry detective, I'm not gonna kill any of you, not before you get to see how beautiful she is right now. Man, your partner is out of control!!"

"You bastard" Elliot whispered, nauseas from the creepy tone of Harris voice

Harris smiled, he was satisfied! Yes, he was busted, but it was fine. No matter what happened next, he had won the war.

To Elliot's surprise Harris started to lower his gun

"You got me now detective, but I got her this time"

Elliot slowly started walking towards him...**.BANG!!**


	13. The winner takes it all!

**BANG!!**

Elliot shut his eyes.

_Who fired?_

He knew it wasn't him.

_Did Harris shoot me?_

It all went so fast, though it was as if it went in slow motion.

He moved a little, tried to feel if he was in any pain, he wasn't.

_Harris must have missed me_

He opened his eyes as Harris fell to the ground in front of him.

.

And there, behind Harris, was Olivia, holding a gun in her cuffed arms, still pointing it towards were Harris had been standing.

.

Elliot froze, he was shocked to see her like that, she looked so vulnerable in only her panties and a torn t-shirt. The sight of her bruised legs, thighs, hips, and her face soaked with sweat and tears, it broke his heart.

He quickly snapped out of it and grabbed a blanket when he noticed she was naked underneath the t-shirt.

"It's okay Liv" he said softly as he covered her up

Olivia continued starring down at Harris

"Liv, give me the gun"

Olivia didn't move

"Liv, let go of the gun. Liv!"

He took the gun away from her, and uncuffed her

Olivia was just standing there, not taking her eyes off Harris...

Elliot gently touched her shoulder, she jerked away from his touch and slowly turned to look at him, she starred at him with eyes full of questions and terror. She hadn't been breathing since Harris fell to the ground, but now she finally gasped for air and started weeping like a baby, she could no longer hide her emotions in front of Elliot, and fell into his arms, shaking like a leaf.

He held her as she slid down onto the floor.

"Oh God...Ohhh God Elliot, I killed him"

She cried and shivered, she hadn't been crying like this since she was a little girl, she was hysterical.

"I killed him Elliot, I killed him, oh God no, I killed him"

"Liv, it's okay Liv. You had no choice!"

She stopped to take a breath, then she kept on, barely understandable in between breathing and crying.

"He was about to surrender..and I..he was about to give up and I..I shot him, now he is dead.."

Elliot embraced her until Olivia slowly calmed down

"Olivia, I'm gonna say it was in my defense. Who knows, maybe he would have shot me if you hadn't stopped him. Liv, IA is not gonna bust you for this"

She turned and faced him.

"Oh my God Elliot, it's not that!"

Elliot looked at her as she got up and walked towards the window

"What Liv?"

She leaned against the window and took a deep breath

"I didn't get the chance to get back at him, I didn't get the chance to confront him, to see him when they sentenced his ass to life in prison. I'm never gonna gain control back from him now, he's got me Elliot, he got me. He won the war!"

She turned away from him and continued crying silently. Elliot remained on the floor, he said nothing, he knew there was nothing he could say to make her pain and fear go away.

Cause she was right, Harris was never gonna leave her head now, he would always be in her mind, one way or another...


	14. Last words

**To my beloved reviewers! **

**Thank you so much for your nice feedbacks, you all made this a fabulous introduction to "the world of fanfictions",  
It really kept me going and kept me writing! I am the queen of procrastination, but you who continued reviewing cured me somehow ;-D**

**I know it is a sad ending, I am sorry about that folks, but like Skydala said, not all endings can be happy!  
Though something in me wants to continue the story. Unfortunately I am suffering from a little writers block, so people, feel free to come with suggestions on how you would like the story to continue, what happens next etc ... and I'll see if I can make something out of it. :-)  
**

**I did write an alternate ending to the last chapter - so you can choose how you want the story to end. Feel free to tell me which one of the endings you liked best!  
**

**And one last comment to whoever reads this story, even thought the story is done for now, reviews are always welcome! Opening an mailbox full of emails from fanfiction always make my day! :o)**

**Love Cahilla**


	15. Winner takes it all Alternate Ending

**BANG!!**

Elliot shut his eyes.

_Who fired?_

He knew it wasn't him.

_Did Harris shoot me?_

It all went so fast, though it was as if it went in slow motion.

He moved a little, tried to feel if he was in any pain, he wasn't.

_Harris must have missed me_

He opened his eyes as Harris fell to the ground in front of him, screaming and embracing his arm where he'd been hit.

.

And there, behind Harris, was Olivia, holding a gun in her cuffed arms, still pointing it towards Harris.

.

Elliot starred at her in shock, he could not believe what he saw, she looked so vulnerable in only her panties and a torn t-shirt. The sight of her bruised legs, thighs, hips, and her face soaked with sweat and tears, it broke his heart.

"Did I get him? Did I get him??" Olivia shouted and didn't seem to care what she looked like or how she was dressed.

"Owwww" Harris moaned in pain

"Get the cuffs off me, get them the hell off me Elliot!!" she shouted.

Elliot looked at Harris and went over to Olivia, took the gun away from her and placed in on the table next to them. Then he uncuffed her.

As soon as she was free, she pushed him away and grabbed the gun from the table. Elliot tripped in the chair behind him and fell on the floor,Olivia didn't even react, she just started walking slowly towards Harris.

"You bastard, you fucked up piece of shit, you pathetic little looser, damn sack of shit" she mumbled barely audible and pointed the gun at him.

Elliot froze, still in shock from the scenario that took place in front of him

"Straighten up" she said, threatening Harris with her gun

Harris didn't move

"Straighten up bitch!!" she shouted

Elliot snapped out of it "Liv relax! Liv, give me the gun"

"SHUT UP EL" she screamed back at him, not taking her eyes off Harris

"GET UP HARRIS!!"

"Owww. I can't" he moaned

Olivia kneeled down next to him and gently stroke his cheek "Ahhh, did I hurt you baby? I'm sorry" she said softly and then quickly pushed her gun up his crotch

"AHHH..NO! Make her stop! Can you get her the hell away from me!" Harris screamed at Elliot, not able to prepare himself for the unbearable pain Olivia was about to cause him

Elliot lifted his hands and tried to calm her "Liv! Liv it's over. Give me the gun Liv"

She bit her teeth's together and pushed the gun harder up Harris crotch "Shut up El!"

Harris screamed in horror and fear

"LIV, DON'T DO THIS!!"

"I HAVE TO ELLIOT!"

Harris breathed heavily and closed his eyes "Please, don't do this, don't do this"

"Oh, look who's begging now?"she said scornfully

Elliot requested back up and an ambulance on his police scanner and slowly moved towards her

"Stay back Elliot!!"

"Liv! He is gonna bleed out, we need to get him to a hospital"

Olivia turned and starred at Elliot "We don't need to do anything to help him! I want this piece of shit to suffer"

She turned back to Harris again and starred into his eyes "Who's the bitch now? Who's the bitch now huh??"

"Don't" he begged as he felt her pushing the gun harder up his crotch

"Tell me! TELL ME!!" She shouted and slowly started pulling the trigger

"Okay, okay. It's me. I'm the bitch, I'm the bitch now!"

"Liv, let him go! If you do this he'll win. Come on Liv, please!! Don't let him ruing your life anymore!"

"Listen to your partner, listen to your partner Olivia!"

"DON'T…." she screamed and slapped him over the mouth "Don't you EVER put my name in your mouth again!"

Elliot had always trusted Olivia to make the right decisions, she was always in control. That's why this situation was so hard for him, he didn't trust her now, he had never seen her so out of control. He knew she would do something stupid if he didn't stop her, and he would never forgive himself for not being able to stop her, he would feel responsible for her life being ruined.

"Liv if he bleed out and dies you will be charged with murder. Olivia, this is not self defense anymore. Listen to me Liv, do you really want to risk your job, your pension and life in jail over this dirt bag? Leaving me without a partner?"

Liv starred at Harris, tears streamed down her face, she bit her teeth's together, took a couple of deep breaths and then screamed from the top of her lounges and threw her gun away.

Elliot quickly ran over and pulled her away from Harris

"Let go of me, let go of me" she shouted and jerked away from him

"Okay, but you gonna have to calm down Liv"

Elliot pulled Harris up from the floor and held him in a tight grip

"Take it easy, that hurts"

"Does it look like I care? You're a tough guy, you can handle a little pain can't you?" Elliot said as he held him towards Olivia

She got close to him and starred him down

"Lowell Harris, You are under arrest for the rape of Hilary Barclay and Harper Anderson,"

"And for the stalking and attempted rape of a police officer" Elliot added

Harris starred at Olivia and smiled "_Attempted_ rape huh?"

She quickly grabbed his face, squeezed his cheeks and whispered in his ear

"Are you referring to your sad excuse for a penis in my mouth? Well let me tell you something, I didn't even feel it. It was a joke Harris, just like you. A joke just like you!"

Harris jerked away and leaned closer towards her "Well, It sure made you scream babe"

She got even closer to him and said slowly and controlled "Yeah, it did, cause the pain from your beating hurt like hell, but not as much as you will be hurting in jail, I'll personally make sure of that. Prison guards and police officers are not put together with regular inmates, but trust me, you will. You'll end up as someone's bitch little Lowy."

Elliot started walking out with him and read him his rights, outside the ambulance and a couple of police cars were waiting.

Olivia, now covered in a blanket, starred at the ambulance as it drove away with Harris. Elliot came up to her and touched her shoulder,she jumped, rattled from the sudden touch, then turned towards him and sighed when she saw it was Elliot.

"You okay Liv?"

She starred at him, her eyes filled up with tears

"No Elliot, I'm not!" she said and turned away from him.

Elliot got next to her and put his arm around her shoulder, she leaned her head on his shoulder "But I will be Elliot, I'll be okay"

"I know" he said softly and stroke her shoulder, but he knew she wasn't gonna bounce back from this anytime soon. He realized her _"I will be okay"_ was just something she needed to say to feel some sort of control. He could feel her shaking, he didn't look at her, but he knew she was crying. No, Olivia was far from okay, but he were prepared to give her all the time she needed to recover, cause knowing Liv, she sooner or later would.

They didn't say a word more, but she silently decided she was gonna talk to him about it this time, just not now, not soo soon after.


End file.
